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Advice for the newly single

The end of a relationship is never pretty but there are some things you can do to make the transition easier.

1) Write down all the reasons why your relationship didn't work and all his or her bad points. Keep this list handy so that you can remind yourself why calling them at 2am isn't really such a good idea.

2) Learn to appreciate being single again and enjoy your freedom. Use this opportunity to reconnect with your friends and to do some of the things you've always said you would but just never quite got around to.

3) Pamper yourself. Your confidence has taken a dent so why not treat yourself to a new outfit, new hairstyle or even a new car!

4) Once you have some distance, try to look at the relationship without prejudice so that you can understand what when wrong and how you could stop that happening in the future. And remember, a break up is never completely one person's fault.

5) At times you may feel just awful. Maybe you'll start thinking about what could have been; maybe you're just feeling lonely or perhaps you've just discovered their Barry Manilow CD hiding in amongst your stuff. When they come, let those emotions out so you can carry on getting on with the rest of your life.

6) Don't get bogged down with negativity, hate, blame or guilt. There will have been wrongs on both sides, some greater than others but negativity only hurts you. Until you learn to forgive, you can never truly move on.

7) Use the experience and learn from it. Look not only at the relationship and what happened, look at yourself. Are you the person you want to be? Did you settle for second-best with your last partner? Take this opportunity to find out what you really want and then go about finding it. You'll end up a much better prospect for your next partner.


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