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Improve Your Confidence

We've been in the dating game for many years now so we have a good idea of what people look for and one of the character traits most appealing to others is confidence.

Seriously, confidence is hot!

Now you could buy a ton of self-help books, attend years of therapy and build your confidence levels that way but here are a few simple quick fixes. Small changes that will leave you feeling like a new person.

Dress well

Mark Twain said 'clothes maketh the man' and he wasn't wrong. No one is more aware of your image than you are and it affects how you interact with those around you.

If you're in your sweats and trying to give someone investment advice, do you really think they'll take you seriously? It doesn't matter what they think, but if you think you won't be taken as seriously, then your body language will reflect that.

I'm not suggesting you switch to designer labels and take out a second mortgage to fund your new wardrobe, but start buying better quality classics. Things that can be mixed and matched and will last years longer than that cheaper item.

Note your posture

Slouching isn't sexy, you're hiding your assets and you look as if you're trying not to be seen. So whether you're sitting at your desk, riding the bus or walking to the shops, keep your head up, shoulders back and your back straight. It'll also do wonders for your orthopaedics.

Walk faster

Slow and tired walks don't scream confidence. People who are confident are busy; they have places to go and people to see. Just boosting your speed by a quarter will make you look more confident and self -assured. Just make sure you don't run into the tea trolley as you're sprinting around the office; that wouldn't be good for your new silk blouse!

List your best qualities

Everyone has qualities that they like. They're clever, they're good with numbers, they're kind and caring, they're funny, pretty, strong, loyal... the list is endless. If you have trouble writing a list, ask your trusted friends and family members what they think are your best qualities.

Write a list of those qualities and when you're feeling low, look at it.

An attitude of gratitude!

It's hard to be depressed when you're grateful so try to develop an attitude of gratitude. I know some days it can seem as if nothing is going your way, but don't your family still love you? Don't you still have money in the bank? Your ability to understand Euclidian Algorithms hasn't gone anywhere has it? What, you never had that ability? Oh well, at least you've still got your health.

Try to find 10 things every day that you are grateful for. It'll do wonders for your outlook and consequently your attitude.

Give compliments

When we're in a negative frame of mind it can easily radiate out to those around us. So less moaning about the office junior shredding your contracts (what's done is done) and instead try and find something about him that he's done well.

Start off each day intending to give five compliments to people that day. By looking for the best in others, you'll bring out the best in yourself

Sit at the front

In classes, lectures and meetings, many people prefer to hide at the back and blend in. The confident people sit at the front because they aren't afraid to be noticed.

Don't be afraid to speak up

It can be scary; you're afraid you'll sound foolish but in general, people are more understanding then we give them credit for. Besides, even on the off-chance that what you say is adds nothing to the subject, I can guarantee that there will be others in the room thinking the exact same thing and they'll admire you for having the confidence to voice your concern.

Take regular exercise

As your fitness levels increase, so does your confidence. Getting fit boosts your energy levels, proves you have discipline and improves physical appearance. Not to mention all the feel-good endorphins that are released with exercise.

Give back

It's easy to become focused on ourselves, especially when we're feeling low but giving something back to a community not only takes your mind off your own problems, it leaves you feeling warm and fuzzy because you have contributed something.

It can be anything from making a real commitment like volunteering for a local charity, or something simple and ad hoc. Like helping your elderly neighbour with their shopping or helping your friend clean out their garage.

A word of warning

Whilst confidence is very agreable to others, arrogance is not but as long as you always consider the people around you, there's no chance that your confidence will be seen as arrogance.

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